I will first start off by saying this is not a “feel good” article. This is raw writing ~ with honest emotions, no hiding under any blanket of comfort. Raw and honest with life. But even greater and more powerful than the rawness of humanity and frailty is the reality of the goodness of God. And that even in the raw-ness…there is hope.
It wasn’t until this past season where almost everyone close around me was experiencing instability, uncertainty, and trials like never before that I saw the rawness and lack of security of what we have in this life. The “dust of the earth” became more of a reality to me. The grasp we think we have is never a grasp at all. The control we think we have is no control at all.
It is extremely easy and deceptive to think that “this” or “that” will provide some form of security. An unshakeable fortress, if you will. Even looking at friends lives, especially the Facebook newsfeed, appear to show lives with such security, comfort, and stability. Those looking on the “news feeds” of others could perceive that others have better circumstances, more stability, more security. When the reality of life is – there is no guarantee in anything. There is no guarantee that “this” will be here tomorrow.
Is He enough?
I personally have never looked at life this way until recently. It wasn’t until this past season where I knew going into a situation of much sacrifice that there still wasn’t any guarantee. That God and God alone had to be my security. One day I woke up and realized – There is no guarantee in this. That I had to believe in God’s love for me enough to know that His love was the only guarantee I had.
The Bible tells of a story – a man named Joseph who was placed in prison for 13 years – AFTER being betrayed by his own family. When I think of being in prison for 13 years I think – How in the world did he make it? The only thing we are told is…”And God was with him.” God’s presence alone sustained him, got him through, day in and day out.
Is God’s presence enough to sustain us?
Is God’s presence enough of a guarantee?
Is God’s presence enough to let us know that we are never alone, never forsaken?
As much as we think that we can, we cannot plan out our lives with the security that what we have set in place will be there. Its the humble awareness that we truly belong to the care of Another. That the only form of control that I truly have is through my choice to lean into God…and only into God. Nothing or no one will ever be able to bring us security and nothing is ever guaranteed.
To reach a place where you believe that God is good enough that he is ALL to grasp onto…
Anxiety and worry has always been a stronghold for me. And I hate it. It steals, it kills, it destroys. It creeps into my life and at times literally paralyzes me from living a full, abundant life. Recently I was in a situation where I wrestled and struggled with anxiety – and anxiety was winning. One day on a walk I heard the Lord’s voice speak “Who is your God?” And He was serious about it. As the thoughts of ‘what if, ‘what could be’ ran through my mind, I heard God address it and say – Who is your God?
The problem with our grasping, the problem with our anxieties, is that deep down we question – God, do you see? God, do you know? God, do you hear? We question God’s heart towards us. Can we get to a place where we believe that God is good enough in that He is ALL we grasp onto? That He is THAT good. That we do not need to grasp onto anything else BUT Him…
“You sleep well because you know you are loved…”
Recently I saw the movie “Exodus: Gods and Kings” This one line caught me, as Ramses spoke over his sleeping son – “You sleep well because you know you are loved…“ Can we get to a place where we are so secure that God Himself is our guarantee. To believe that He is THAT committed to us. He laid His life down to demonstrate —You have all of Me. What would make me not trust the hands that still have the proof of being wounded and pierced for me? How could I not trust that sacrificial love?
When I realized and accepted through my situations that there was no guarantee, an interesting thing occurred. A new-found freedom came to me. I “grabbed on” to everything in my life with a looser grip. I realized that “this” could not provide any security for me, just as much as holding onto a chunk of sand would be able to stay in my grasp. It too could be here one moment and gone the next.
And now…I am choosing to live in the belief, every single day, that I am deeply loved by a God that is unshakable. With Him as my security, holding on only to Him, I too could sleep at night, every night, no matter what was going on. That though things may be uncertain, I am certain of this: I am loved, thoroughly loved, and that the God of Love will continually be with me, in all things. That He DID see. That He DID know. That He DID hear. And that His love alone would continually provide all things that I need in my life. Though in “this” life there is no guarantee…I have one unshakeable guarantee: The Love of God will never fail me. I am loved. He is with me. And that Love is enough to sustain me…through and through…